Top 10 Movies of 2014

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies – A better subtitle would have been The Battle to Keep Me from Falling Asleep.  But it would have lost.  Actually, I didn’t see this movie, but I did fall asleep during King Kong and when I woke up I vowed never to see another Peter Jackson film.

Unbroken – Again, I didn’t see this one, but I did read the book and I came away thinking the sharks got a bum rap.

Annie – This is one I actually did see back in 1986.  I thought Carol Burnett was spectacular.  I saw no reason to watch another remake.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I remember when this one came out the first time.  I didn’t see it then, and I decided to keep the streak alive. 

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tombs. Here’s a secret.  They should not make any more of these movies. Tell everyone.

Horrible Bosses 2 – I remember watching the first Horrible Bosses and thinking, “Well, at least they can’t possibly make a sequel to this horrible movie.”

Dumb and Dumber To – Here’s something dumb.  Take a movie created for 14-year-olds and then re-make it when the actors are 70. 

The Expendables 3 – Like the first 2 movies, I found this one expendable and did not go see it.

Exodus – While I have not seen this movie, I did read the Old Testament, and I must say I was not impressed by the ending.

Inherent Vice – They say Thomas Pynchon books are un-filmable, however, I filmed my copy of Gravity’s Rainbow no problem.  It turns out a book sitting on a table is not as compelling I had hoped.  After I burned the print, I just didn’t have the energy to go see Inherent Vice.

The Theory of Everything – I have a theory.  It’s that most movies are terrible and overpriced and only 14-year-olds who want to get out of the house are willing to pay to go see them.  So it’s surprising when someone puts out a movie about Stephen Hawking and his wife.  It’s almost enough to make me watch it when it finally gets released through a digital streaming outlet.  But then I think about Hawking doing all those Simpsons episodes and popping up everywhere and now this, and I think, “What happened to you, Man?  It used to be about the science.”

The Interview – I’m all in favor of freedom and everything, but I choose to exercise my freedom by not watching this movie.  I will, however, encourage people to watch this much shorter video (less than two minutes) with the same name.  The Interview

By now you may have realized that I did not go see any movies in 2014.  I hope that did not stop you from reading this list.  While I may not be qualified to review movies, I did see several on Netflix and I read like 4 books.  Thanks for your time.

Purvis McGrew is head movie reviewer for the Daily Brass. See also Top 10 Movies of 2013, An Open Letter to Thomas Pynchon, Christamar's Youtube Cartoons.